Tiny Little Seeds

Valentine's Day, lying in bed (technically doing laundry--the machine is on), Giovanni, my three year old, sitting on my back, rambling on about boats,while I simultaneously blog and play Words With Friends. Mother guilt tells me take the boy out for a bike ride, wife guilt tells me clean the house, teacher guilt tells me prepare those lessons, but my old friend, Lazy, wins. After all, Giovanni repeatedly reminds, he will sink without me, so I remain floating in this sea of blue flannel, a life boat of sorts.

I remember vividly, my life before this one. The freedom, the deep lonely, the joys and the ultimate heartaches. Aloneness is a blessing and a curse. While there, I longed so desperately for the opposite. Yet, it afforded me opportunities to explore myself and the world, forced me into experiences, tapped my creativity and carved my independence.

Today reminds me that God granted me what my had heart pained for in my aloneness, a person to love and share the mundanities of life with in my husband Chris, the tiny little seeds of Vincenzo, Giovanni, and those souls in between that were named but never known. So,out of bed I must jump to embrace the laundry, the passenger on my back, the outdoors and all life's blessings that surround us. Goodbye for now my old friend, Lazy. I do adore you.

This Guy

This Guy

Thankful today for life's little triumphs. This guy, Vincenzo Christopher Macaluso, my first born, my heart, my little man...this annoying fucking honey bee, droning on and on mercilessly in my ear, whining, begging, growling, harassing about life's unfairities (I know that's not a word), his undying NEED for chocolate, inability to finish a dinner or swallow his milk, how no one likes him, he's not good at anything, it's not fair, he can't do his homework, OMG...can I take that hockey stick you won't stop banging on the tile to your head please, and bat it into next next year?  This guy and I, we had a great day! Invited to a birthday party of his twin friends, he mixed and mingled without a grump. No tears, nada, nothing.  He had fun. Ahh, the little things.  I am thankful, truly thankful.  

What's The Deal?

Looks to me, when reviewing this account, that I established it in June 2010.  First post, or lack there of March 2012...What's the deal?  Lack of time? Lack of motivation? Fear? I love writing. Or, I used to. I opened it after having my youngest son, Giovanni, perhaps as a place to dote on my boys and share their lives with friends and family.  But, now I know it won't be just that, although at times it may.  A place to vent and rant on about the annoyances of life?  Possibly, though I hope not too much. No, it will be a place for me, my thoughts, heartaches, and joys.  Peek inside if you will.