Saturday, October 7, 2017

Listen to the Birds


Listen to the Birds
The morning my mom passed away, still dark out, I returned home from the hospital and collapsed into bed, reeling in shock yet exhausted. Clutching my pillow, body resting, eyes closed I fell asleep, oddly in tune with every sound and sun beam and speck of dust. It was as if for the first time I heard the birds chirping outside my bedroom as they sang boisterously, deliberately in a  sweet staccato, calling to me directly, conducting my dream-state. I immediately felt my mother speaking to me through this distinct birdsong  and slowly I came to consciousness feeling silly for having thought so. 

Since that moment, I feel my mom has connected to me so many ways, in so many forms, from repeated number patterns, starting with waking up at  4:44, to house clocks flashing these patterns in moments meant only for my children and me to notice -- when literally the clock should have read otherwise, to feathers appearing in places that could  not be missed, like the driver's seat of my car, stuck on my dog's nose so firmly that after identification it had to be literally peeled off, the soccer field, midgame, my son, Giovanni, stopping to grab it and holding it up knowingly. 

Then there are the birds, black crows dancing suspiciously in front of my moving  car so that I have no choice but to stop and watch this show delivered in these precise moments to say, "I am here!", a humming bird tattoo (mom had an affinity for these birds) presented in her favorite colors, pink and green, on the back shoulder of the person wearing the right cut, sitting in the pew in front of me at a funeral ...

I leave the above sentence unfinished with an ellipsis purposely, not because I'm tired of writing. I believe you too know these moments. I no longer default to thinking how  weird or coincidental, I now understand, we humans,  in physical form, are wired to receive if we are open and present. 

Enter Monica the Medium--I knew of her from her two season reality show, that aired on ABC Family, then began following her on social media to include Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.  It was there I began to notice connections to my mother as well. She was following 444 people on Instagram, her Season One Show, Monica the Medium, premiered on August 25th, my mother's birthday, one of her Instagram posts was of a beautiful poem called Death is Nothing at All, by Henry Scott-Holland which she posted on September 19th, my father's birthday, the very same poem my neighbor had sent me the year before to comfort me after my mom had passed.   

I tried to direct message her to no avail, but soon learned through Facebook that she would be doing a live event, Messages from Above, in San Mateo, CA, which is pretty much the county I grew up in before moving to Clearlake as an adolescent. Of course I had to go!  Intentions set and tickets purchased, I hooked up with two of my best cousins who had also lost loved ones and my sister in law, Angela, who really is just my sister (in law is a formality) and off we went to explore the spirit world with a gifted medium. 

Incredibly, out of the few hundred people who attended this event my mother, Gloria, who goes by "Cookie" made an appearance, and again as with her death, I found myself in shock.  I mean, you wish for it when you participate in a gathering as such, but when it actually happens...mind blown.

 I won't go into a play by play, but I will tell you earlier that day as I stood in front of my mom's photo, placing her silver hoop earrings in my ears, I spoke to her. I told her where I was going, who I would be with, that I was wearing her earrings and that I wanted her  to come through.  Well guess what? She heard me.  My mom followed two husbands that had passed, the first one, named Jerry spoke of his two sons through Monica and so  his wife recognizing such, stood up in acknowledgement of the the messages  being sent. Her name was Cookie. The second spirit had his daughters stand in validation that the messages were meant for them when he spoke of his grandchildren and a bit later in the reading he acknowledged his wife, who was also sitting by her daughters' sides.  Her name was Gloria. 

Of course, Angela, my sister in law, and I looked at other and confirmed that we had indeed heard these names correctly, a wife named Cookie, followed by a wife named Gloria.  So weird, we agreed. Then, as  Monica closed with the second family, she began describing a Gloria coming through that went by another name! I immediately raised my hand and stood. The next  thing Monica said was, "She keeps talking about these silver hoop earrings."  

Whaaaaaaaaat? Crazy town.  She went on to deliver many more messages to us and I stood answering mostly yes to all of them.  As Monica translates for your loved one, she asks that you only respond  with yes or no in validation so she can continue to hear them and not be influenced by your details.  We had some laughs, and to be honest some of the content that she delivered felt undesirable to me, as in not what I wanted to hear and not being what I thought my mother would say.  Monica matter of factly explained why this would happen as I  projected resistance in my words. She elaborated that in the spirit world, one lets go of grudges and views people/things once held in disdain through a new lens absent of judgement.  

In the following weeks, I opened my heart as best I could to "allow" those messages which unsettled me, and decided  to pass them along. But the most wonderful news we received that evening from our dear Cookie, happened when Monica placed her hand on her hip, standing proudly as if showing us what she saw, and revealed that my mom says she is  the best version of herself! What more could we ask for?  


Happy two year anniversary on your angel status mom! Since I now know that you hear me -- I love and miss you more than ever, I am aware that you surround us and present yourself in many forms and I promise to always listen to the birds.  xoxoxo 444 

2 comments:

  1. Anna, thank you so much sharing this! It was beautifully written. Cookie will always have a special place in my heart. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to spend time with her. I love you and keep blogging!

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    1. Hi Erin! Thank you for reading and for your kind response and encouragement. xoxox
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